Couples counselling · Auckland and online
Find your way back to each other.
For couples who love each other but keep getting stuck: in the same argument, in distance, or in a bedroom that has gone quiet. Sessions in English or Russian.
You might be here because
- The same argument keeps coming back, and neither of you feels heard.
- You have become good flatmates: kind, busy and not very close.
- Desire or touch has faded, or has become a source of tension.
- Trust has been hurt, and you want to find out whether it can be rebuilt.
- A big change, like a baby, a move or a new job, has pulled you apart.
- Things are fine, and you want to keep them that way on purpose.
How I work
In our sessions you mostly talk to each other rather than to me, while I guide the conversation. My approach combines embodiment with a structured couples dialogue inspired by Imago, a method developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.
Talking about each other
- Each of you explains your side to the person in the room.
- Much of the conversation goes through them.
- This can bring real insight, and it suits many couples well.
Talking to each other
- You turn towards each other and talk directly.
- I guide the conversation, slow it down and keep it safe.
- You practise a new way of talking together that you take home.
How the dialogue works
Say it back
One of you speaks, the other repeats what they heard, until the speaker says “yes, that’s it”. Nobody replies or defends yet. Just being heard accurately calms most arguments down.
Find how it makes sense
The listener looks for how their partner’s view makes sense from where they stand. That is not the same as agreeing, and it is often the moment the fight stops being a fight.
Feel it with them
The listener imagines what it is like to feel what their partner feels. This is where closeness starts coming back.
Stay in your body while it gets hard
Arguments start in the body: a tight chest, a raised voice, the urge to walk out. As a certified embodiment coach and meditation teacher, I help you notice those moments and breathe through them, so you can keep listening instead of reacting.
The same dialogue works for the conversations couples avoid most, like desire, touch and sex. You can talk about them plainly and kindly, then find simple ways to be close again at a pace that suits you both.
What a session is like
For most of the session you sit facing each other and talk, while I guide. Sometimes I suggest a short practice: a pause to breathe, or noticing where you feel something in your body. Every practice is optional, and you can say no to anything. What you say stays in the room, unless someone’s safety is at risk.
Hi, I’m Maxim
For 17 years I led software teams, helping people with very different personalities work under pressure, disagree well and still get things done together.
Alongside that, I spent years training in the other side of connection: meditation, embodiment, honest communication and intimacy. I have also spent more than three years in my own therapy, so I know what it is like to sit on the other side of the room.
I bring both to my work with couples: practical and plain-spoken, and warm. I live in Auckland, and Russian is my first language.
Training
- Certified Embodiment Coach, Body4Biz Embodiment School (6 months)
- Meditation teacher training, 200 hours, and advanced meditation training, 100 hours (Punnu Wassu)
- Authentic Relating: ART School levels 1 and 2, Leadership Retreat, and Embodied Relating with Authentic Relating Aotearoa
- Relationship coaching intensive (5 days) and intimacy and relationship trainings (2021)
- Movement meditation (Open Floor and 5Rhythms), 200+ hours, including retreats in Morocco and Bali
- Mindfulness coaching with Jeremy Lipkowitz and mentoring with Terrence Carfrae (Temple Coaching)
Questions
Are you a registered therapist?
No. I work as a couples counsellor and relationship coach. I am not a registered psychologist or psychotherapist, and I don’t diagnose or treat mental-health conditions. If that is what you need, I will help you find the right person.
What if things don’t feel safe at home?
Couples sessions are not the right place to start if either of you is afraid of the other. Call the Family Violence Information Line on 0800 456 450 for free, confidential advice, or 111 if you are in danger.
Online or in person?
Both. Sessions run by video call, or in person in Auckland.
How much does it cost?
The first 20-minute call is free. I will talk you through fees and session length on that call, so you can decide with all the information.
Start with a free 20-minute call
We will talk about what is going on and whether I am the right fit, with no pressure to book more.
Pick a time that suits you both. Keep the booking form brief; we can go into detail on the call.
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